Falling in love again

A quiet morning around the house, the kids will be here later today and a fun filled weekend for all...I am sitting here thinking about two close friends, who are in serious relationships with guys that have children from their first marriage. It brings me back to meeting our three kids, four years ago. The journey of a blended family and step parenting is pretty amazing, particularly I think, if you don't have your own children. In our case, Scott was incredibly thoughtful about our initial time together, and allowing everyone to naturally bond with each other. Thinking and managing from the sidelines, and making sure to understand all of the emotions-fear, excitement, disappointment, jealousy..We had it easy I think. The kids were amazing, were incredibly loving and secure. I think the most difficult part, was the oldest understanding early on that this meant his parents were not getting back together-an understandable fantasy for an almost seven year old. 

When I think about my friends, I can't help but want to share my own learnings. 

1. Talk with your significant other, and understand what the kids or his ex might be going through. It will help you understand as you navigate new relationships where to spend your emotional energy and time..Their has likely been a great deal of hurt for all in the relationship, and despite your best efforts that can not be healed overnight. 

2. Trust that the kids will express their feelings. Their capacity for love is likely infinite and the more secure and loved they feel, the happier and more emotionally aware they will be. It is not about choosing who to love or express emotions to, let them move between all of you with ease. 

3. Be and trust yourself. Love with abandon, have fun, find your own way and style. 

Time will tell you what and how to participate in their lives. Don't worry about anyone but your self and your new family. 

4. Don't react to the ex. Enough said. 

5. Know that their will be awkward moments. Be yours self. Smile, take a moment, act in a way you can be proud of. 

6. Understand what a gift you have been given. Time goes by really quickly. Seeing the world through a child's eyes and experiencing life with kids is unbelievably fun and challenging. 

Let your self go and experience it all.