Love Conquers All

I woke up this morning, and was just lazing around stretching in bed for a moment. 

The kids are with their mom for the holiday weekend, so Scott and I have had a low key, relaxing, lazy few days. Catching up with life, riding bikes, cooking, reading, thinking, talking, truly enjoying each other and the summer days.

The usual routine is Scott getting up at 5 or so, but on a Sunday with no kids, even he can sleep until 6:00 ish. Going downstairs, making coffee and grabbing the paper. Usually 30 minutes or so of the days news and a moment to reconnect with the new day. 

This morning. A thump. Strange I thought, did someone drop something off. 

When I came down, moments later. The package. Manila envelope from Pacific Fertility Center. 

The Notebook. When we talked to our doctor by phone on Wednesday, she went through the next steps, and was clearly pleased that we were moving into the next phase. When we first met about a year ago ( coincidentally ) she had shared the treatment options and statistics. Basically, our issue was my age. Simply put, the tests were all fine, but the amazing drop in fertility as you get older was really news to me. Ever the optimist, and having been so scared that something more then age was the issue, I settled into the idea that the first, most simplistic course of treatment would work. We had, up until this point done nothing other then monitor cycles and try to be more aware of timing..It did not sink in that these odds were only 8% per cycle. I wanted to believe, was still somewhat scared, and most of all, wanted to get pregnant without all this fanfare and help. 

Why I think to myself, did I let a year go by. What have we learned about ourselves, our relationship and our family. A lot I realize. Parenting and coupling is hard. After years of taking care of myself and others, I know now, I had a solitary process and approach that worked for me then. The notion of truly partnering, understanding, and creating together was unknown to me, and I did not have a picture of what this looked or felt like. My picture was about people or persons that were capable. Being able to solve problems, make plans, take care of things financially...It was not about understanding what was underneath all of it, and how to create a life that was rich in relationships, personal and emotionally security, a sense of grace and a place from wish all emotions-fear, rage, love, hope, anger could be experienced. I have been on that journey now for a while, and have learned a great deal. 

Now is the right time, as I pull open the binder, with a feeling of excitement, pride, nervousness and general emotion, I know that the time for us is right. 

My thought for the day-Love conquers all.. from an artist I was recently introduced to, her work and simple messages are amazing..Her shop is Paloma's Nest